I'm a deepstack DONKEY

[nawhead]

Full Tilt No-Limit Hold'em, $0.05 BB (5 handed) - Full-Tilt Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com

MP ($5)
Button ($2.17)
SB ($15.19)
BB ($6.95)
Hero (UTG) ($15.95)

Preflop: Hero is UTG with K, K
Hero bets $0.17, 2 folds, SB raises to $0.56, BB calls $0.51, Hero calls $0.39

Flop: ($1.68) 4, 4, 5 (3 players)
SB bets $0.25, BB raises to $2.43, Hero calls $2.43, SB raises to $14.63 (All-In), BB calls $3.96 (All-In), Hero calls $12.20

Turn: ($37.33) 5 (3 players, 2 all-in)

River: ($37.33) J (3 players, 2 all-in)

Total pot: $37.33 | Rake: $2

Results:
SB had A, 4 (full house, fours over fives).
BB had 10, 10 (two pair, tens and fives).
Hero had K, K (two pair, Kings and fives).
Outcome: SB won $35.33


The kicker: What I told myself immediately before this happened, "OK now, don't do something stupid like calloff 300bb with 1 pair, this guy's not giving away too much postflop."

I see aggro guy Minbet/ALLIN 300bb's. "I haves KINGS!!! WHOoooo-HOoooo!!!!"

I feel so fucking dispirited right now. Shortrolling and lost half my roll in one hand. 'Nuff said.

No not 'nuff said. At some point, one has to ask oneself. After so many training videos, after so many hands, after getting good advice after good advice, and just not being able to utilize them in-play, one has to ask oneself. Why am I such a donkey? You know, I got a lot of traits of someone who could probably beat microstakes: above average intelligence (gifted program in primary schools, college education, etc.). But then I see other parts of my life where I don't see any winning history. I was never into competive sports, I've never been #1 at anything in my life, I've never been really great at anything. Pretty good, but never great. I'm a quick learner but then the learning tapers off at some median level of competency and I don't get into the higher echelons. I have a computer science degree, and I was one of those super computer kids when younger, but I never had the motivation to become like a PhD candidate or a super hacker or anything. I probably know more than 95% of the population about computers, but then when I'm around people who REALLY know computers, I'm just sort of a noob. Same thing with poker. I learned really quick. I try try try for hundreds of thousands of hands for years. And I do this shit like stacking off with KK 300bb deep against a very common "I GOT A MONSTER" line.

So at some point, one has to ask oneself. Ugh.

Sigh... well if I'm really that stupid, might as well use the one trait of really stupid people that lets them get through life, deny everything, and keep on going as if nothing happened...

[Colossos159]

I really really hate the preflop call. You dont want to see a 3-way flop with KK.

[Michaellawrw]

long story. should have popped it up pre

[mxrider]

agree with the others. Don't let this get to a flop the way it did. Pop this up to about $2-$2.25. On the flop, you can't be happy with your hand as only 55 and 4x is going to get it in here this deep.

[nawhead]

Of course, the preflop 4bet should be standard vs this guy. I know the standard play, but I chose to go another route. It was spur of the moment, sure, but I had a real vision in my head of what I wanted to do with this hand vs this guy post.

I wanted to challenge myself to fold this hand post if I see the right action. Folding this to the right action would have been a win for me because BB is very likely to call any ALLIN very thin vs this guy, so I get to see showdown anyway.

I challenged myself to play this non-standard, and I failed, miserably. That's why I'm so mad.

Forget the bankroll stuff. Whatever, it's 5NL. I know my ROR is like 100% at this point. I'll be depositing 100-300 in the next few weeks pending my evaluation of where my game is at now.

I just wanted to be able to make this kind of tough decision correctly. That's worth more to me at this point in my poker career than the actual stakes I'm playing now.

Maybe sort of a cop out, but just losing the hand wasn't what really got me steamed. It was that I had a plan, I had a vision of what I was going to do postflop given how I played the hand preflop, given stack sizes, given aggro guy's ATC range, given his image of me, given he's not stacking off 300bb to me with nothing, and I couldn't fit the pieces together and act correctly without going "DUHHHRRRR I CALL CUZ I GOT THE KING KING."

FFS! What's the point of all these nuanced things racing through my head if in the end I just make the donkey move. That's unforgivable to me. But then I do have to forgive myself and learn and keep trying. What else can I do?

What am I gonna do, quit? I've invested more time and effort into this game than anything else in my life. School, jobs, relationships, whatever, I've never done any specific thing with this much effort for this long. It's crazy. Who would have known this game would become this huge chunk of my life, this life-defining thing about me. How can I quit this? I might as well quit life if I quit this!

[zayphod]

Originally Posted by nawhead

How can I quit this? I might as well quit life if I quit this!

before poker is life, after poker is life, in between is just life with poker i.e. life goes on regardless of poker

Let me suggest an experiment that may help you fold KK etc at some later date (maybe you wont want to but its liberating, or at least I found it to be). Sit at a 2NL table and play as per normal until you get dealt AA or KK etc (any monster actually) and then fold it preflop! This exercise is not about money its to show your self that you can chuck them and ultimately it doesn't really alter life to much. Repeat! you are not sitting at this table to make money you are there to prove a point to yourself.

Give it a whirl you might enjoy it.

[urbansprawler]

The reason to 4bet pre is that you are too deep to flat. Waaaaaaay too deep to flat. Postflop, you gotta fold to the all-in.

[nawhead]

Originally Posted by zayphod

Let me suggest an experiment that may help you fold KK etc at some later date (maybe you wont want to but its liberating, or at least I found it to be). Sit at a 2NL table and play as per normal until you get dealt AA or KK etc (any monster actually) and then fold it preflop! This exercise is not about money its to show your self that you can chuck them and ultimately it doesn't really alter life to much. Repeat! you are not sitting at this table to make money you are there to prove a point to yourself.

Give it a whirl you might enjoy it.

That's so crazy it just might work!

[nawhead]

Originally Posted by urbansprawler

The reason to 4bet pre is that you are too deep to flat. Waaaaaaay too deep to flat. Postflop, you gotta fold to the all-in.

There's another school of thought that says the opposite. Since we're so deep, it's incorrect to 4bet pre since we're playing our hand face up. Hence any more action we get post is set or better as villain must put our range as AA/KK/QQ.

Postflop is a disaster. No need to beat a dead horse.

[urbansprawler]

Originally Posted by nawhead

There's another school of thought that says the opposite. Since we're so deep, it's incorrect to 4bet pre since we're playing our hand face up. Hence any more action we get post is set or better as villain must put our range as AA/KK/QQ.

Postflop is a disaster. No need to beat a dead horse.

And a third school of thought, says who the fuck cares, this is 5NL.